Saturday, May 28, 2011

Reflection Test

Consciousness Exploration Journal
May 28th, 2011 4pm

I laid down to listen to William Buhlman’s OBE techniques (portal). I fell asleep during the guided technique and woke up sometime after. I turned on the riverbend dream loop on my iPod and fell back asleep. I woke up a few times after this but did not feel any vibrations or signs of a potential OBE. I decided to not worry about laying in my typical meditation position and instead relax into a more comfortable sleep position. Shortly after that, I woke up to some intense vibrations. Eventually I was able to exit my body.

I was in my bedroom floating toward a large mirror. It was really more like I was being escorted to the mirror. There should have been a set of french doors leading to the back yard, but instead was this very large mirror. I was trying to look at my reflection in the eyes, but was having a difficult time getting my head to turn the correct way. I kept overshooting to one side and then the other. It was as if my reflection was also having a hard time looking at me. Eventually, we made full eye contact. When this happened there was a strange sensation like the eye contact really locked into place. This was accompanied by a slight jolt and buzzing sound. My reflection seemed mostly normal (as normal as one might expect in an OBE or dream). I smiled at myself and noticed that my teeth were broken and discolored. I have experienced this in several dreams in the past so I was not surprised. I tried just knocking and rubbing my teeth out to see if they would go away. One or two fell out, but little else changed. Curious if I could change how they looked, I did a sort of magician-like motion to change them to pearly white. It did not work. Being playful, I started make faces at myself. I got a little carried away and lifted my hands up in the air as if I had claws and began to snarl and make mean faces. The reflection became very exaggerated. The room grew dark and began to take on a red tint. It was straight out of a horror movie. I realized that things were headed down a path that I didn’t care to explore, so I moved away from the mirror.

Shortly after this, I woke up again to more vibrations. This time, I had a very sharp pain in my right side. I was in full sleep paralysis. The vibrations were very intense. I had the sensation that my feet were hanging off the end of the bed. I had the childlike sensation that something might grab at them. My body felt very dense and it was uncomfortable at the various areas that were touching the bed. The pain in my side grew even sharper. I decided to just let it all go and keep working toward getting out of my body. I remember thinking, “Oh no you don’t... I’m not falling for these tricks!”. The buzzing and vibrations grew louder. I could hear a voice singing in my ear and footsteps in the room. I did my best to ignore this and stuck with it. I realized that I should take some action instead of just waiting and gutting it out. I announced that I wanted to be at my bedroom door. I did this twice and did begin to feel some change, but nothing solid. I realized that I should try to go somewhere further away from my body. I decided on the bathroom and called out that I wanted to be in the bathroom. I quickly remembered that the bathroom had two large mirrors and I didn’t want to inadvertently pick up where I had left off with my previous reflection. Eventually, I decided to just sit up out of my body.

Everything was totally black, but I had the sensation that I was standing in my room. I tried to "open my eyes", but no luck. I tried to rub them with my hands, but that didn’t work either. I decided to breath very deep and slowly; with each exhale, I tried to breath vision into the scene. It did not exactly work but it did create some interesting color effects. I eventually decided to move to the kitchen to regroup. I don’t remember actually moving to the kitchen, but I had a strange overhead visual like I was tracking the way down the hall and into the kitchen. There were people working in my house. I didn’t actually see them, I was just aware of their presence. The people were cleaning up something. I believe they were vacuuming up water or debris of some sort.

In the kitchen I did not really have any vision. It was more like having a perception of the kitchen. It was like I was standing in the kitchen with my eyes closed and visualizing what the kitchen should look like. Finally, I felt established and clear enough to try my intent. I said to myself, “I want to visit my friend C.W.” Nothing seemed to happen, so I repeated it several times. As I was doing this, it crossed my mind that I might still have the scary appearance left over from the mirror event. I did not want to accidentally scare my friend, so I did not try and maintain the state and just experienced it slowly fading until I woke up in bed. 

I'm not exactly sure what to make of the experience with the mirror. The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is that I must remember to keep my thoughts in check and to maintain some clarity and focus.

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