Monday, April 30, 2012

Consciousness Art - "Conscious"

This painting was inspired by a series of tests that I carried out in the lucid dream/out-of-body state to test the "realness" of the experience.

Oil on Canvas
4' X 6'

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Help Needs Help

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I was having an extensive dream about being in a yoga class. After the class, I walked out to my car to leave. It was a very small parking lot, but I could not seem to find my car. I pushed the alarm button on the keychain. Several cars (that were not mine) beeped and chirped. After some confusion, I eventually realized that I was dreaming. The first thought that entered my mind was that I wanted to go explore someplace where I could learn something. At that thought, I immediately began to float. I traveled higher and higher until everything began to get dark. I had the impression that I was now lying down in a dark void. With little control, and unsure of what was going to happen, I expressed a simple request to whoever might be there: “keep me safe please.” In hindsight, it was a bit silly; but at that moment, it felt valid. After a short bit, I decided to say (express) a request, “could I receive some guidance please?”. I began to hear what sounded like a broken radio transmission. It slowly became more clear and I heard a female voice reply, “yes”. A few seconds passed and then the voice came through again and said, “yes, but we are not very good at it right now”. Thinking that the voice was referring to a lack of experience in providing guidance, I playfully said, “well that’s not a good thing!” It could of course have meant that “they” are not good at communicating in that specific way. 

I should note... if I would have come across some of these stories years ago, I would have thought that the person who wrote them should probably seek some professional help, or that they had an over-active imagination. However, experience trumps intellectual analysis. Thinking about what is really going on in these experiences is of course much different than actually experiencing them first hand. It would be a mistake for me to take the experience and try to fit it into some pre-existing category. There would be no point. There is a great deal of uncertainty around such things. Each small step forward might bring some bit of understanding or clarity, but uncertainty will still prevail. The best we can do is to move forward based on what we find to be most probable. Of course, what we find to be most probable is often tainted by our fears, ego, and beliefs. So, in-line with the advice of Tom Campbell, we must remain open-minded about everything as well as skeptical about everything... and live gracefully with uncertainty along the way. 

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Short Lived

Consciousness Exploration Journal

Woke up in sleep paralysis. Typical noises and sensations were present. Eventually, I floated up into darkness and began spinning (not by choice). I tried to “see” the setting around me. I could only briefly make out what looked liked two purple eyes watching me as I spun around in the darkness. After some time, I ended up back in sleep paralysis. I was laying in bed somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. I could “see” a strange version of my bedroom. The oval mirror in the corner looked like the head of person. I said inquisitively (in my mind), “who is that?” Eventually, I opened my eyes and realized that it was the mirror. 

Woke up at 6:30 and went back to bed at 7:10. I set my intent to have an OBE. Some time later, I found myself standing on a freeway. My awareness shifted back to my bedroom and I began floating up above my bed. Around me, I could see a foggy vision of the bedroom. I celebrated briefly and stated, “grassy field now!”. My intent was to move to a location that I had previously created in my mind. Unfortunately, the experience ended before anything else happened.