Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sleep Paralysis, Fear, and the Voice.

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I woke from a dream and found myself in full sleep paralysis. I was getting slight sensory input from the actual room in which I was sleeping and also from the sleep/dream state. I tried to maintain my composure and relax into the sleep paralysis. I felt a shift and had the very real sensation of being turned onto my side with my feet floating well above where the bed would be. My head seemed to be anchored to the location of my actual head on the pillow. A forceful wind began rushing passed me. My tilted and sideways body began flapping like a flag in a storm. Many of the other typical sensations were present: voices, chatter, buzzing, etc. One of the voices sounded very similar to that of Bob Monroe (as he sounds on the various hemi-sync audio files). I focused on what he was saying, but could only pull out bits and pieces. I eventually could make out something along the lines of, “I will let go and see what happens, even if I might die... even if I might die”. I was a bit surprised and curious about this statement, but at the same time found it very fitting. I tried to remember what task or test I had planned to carry out, but was too distracted by the breadth and intensity of the various sensations.  The sensations of my body in the waking world were still present, but only slightly so. I could hear the nails of my dog’s paws taping across the floor as she approached the side of the bed to be let outside. The sound was distant and muffled though, like a fading memory. A seemingly random question entered my mind: “what lessons should I be learning from this life?” The sensations grew to a violent intensity. My awareness of the waking world quickly faded. I figuratively gritted my teeth and braced for impact. Suddenly, and as clear as if somebody was standing a foot from my ear, I heard a voice say, “aaaahhhhhhhhhhh” as if the voice was doing a comical imitation of somebody riding on a roller coaster. There was such a strong feeling that the sound was directed specifically at me by an outside observer that I began working to stop the experience. Slowly, I was able to wiggle a toe and then a finger and eventually wake up. 

I had a similar experience several weeks ago. I woke up in sleep paralysis and was experiencing the usual sensations. I mustered up some courage and just tried to relax into it. On this occasion, I heard the same voice as in the above experience. However, this particular time it made a silly and almost comical growl (similar to the way that I might growl as I am playing with my kids). It also gave me a bit of a scare and caused me to stop the experience. It is interesting that the voice in both of these experiences sounds like my own. 

Though I have experienced sleep paralysis well over 100 times, the intensity and extent of the various sensations still takes me by surprise. There is no doubt that sleep paralysis can serve as a gateway to the stereotypical out-of-body experience (at least for me). In most every case, when I encourage the sleep paralysis state further, there is, at some point, the clear sensation of detaching from my sleeping body or connecting to a new reality while still maintaining full awareness. The sensation is as real and as crisp as the sensation of sitting in this chair and typing on a keyboard. The experiences that occur after these separations vary. Some have lead to profound and life-changing experiences. In others, I just float up into a thick darkness and am unable to use my mental intent to effect or alter the experience. 

The voice has sent me running away with my tail between my legs twice. I'll see what I can do next time.

Tom Campbell’s discussion of fear in the video below has helped me a great deal in relation to sleep paralysis (you can skip the intro and start the video at 50 seconds). Courage truly is the only effective antidote for fear. It seems that the more I dig and explore who I am, the more fear and ego I dig up. I have let go of the notion that perfection is the goal. The goal, as I see it, is to maintain a steady state of evolution toward love. 


Nate Young said...

Thanks for your blog, i've just suffered one of my most terrifying sleep paralysis attacks. I went lucid when someone offered me coffee in my dream, I said "but I'm sleeping" and bam. normally I go straight for a fly but I've been so stressed lately, its been far from my mind and I haven't been lucid intentionally for around 2 years now. A phone rang and I decided to answer, the voice was crackled, scared and was letting me know it was being hurt, I told her not to be scared and asked where she was, I would find her but then something else spoke and it was not nice. I immediately tried to bolt and my body control went, I was back in the bedroom, girlfriends arms around me, began doing the typical attempt to call their name, couldn't stop myself that voice really rattled me, I began doing the count but my girlfriends are came round my body further and she was clawing. Then to top this off white figure dead in front of the bed, I wasn't getting the bad vibe and it seemed young but I was trying to kick it away and then it faded and finally my voice comes through, girlfriend not happy, neighbours probably not either.

I've been in a cold sweat and tears for the past 30 minutes, had water, found your blog on this and really glad you talked about the fear, I feel like a bloody baby. Girlfriend has gone back to sleep and I am still recovering.

I've had really great moments out there, lucid, and I got quite accomplished in my teens, I'm still not sure if its 'real' but I've met others out there who have warned me about the bad ones which was what made me stop deliberately doing it. My sleep paralysis has gotten worse ever since I first went properly lucid but this is the first time I've heard an unpleasant voice. I've heard voices lots of times before, one was even angelic, the most beautiful voice I ever heard.

Anyway writhing this and reading your thoughts on courage have helped me find some peace so hopefully I can get back to sleep. Happy dreaming

Justin said...

Hi Nate, thanks for the comment. I'm glad the blog was helpful.