Sunday, June 30, 2013

The General and The Monk

I'm not sure of the origin or accuracy, but I have always loved this tale:

In ancient times there was a conquering army going through villages wreaking havoc and mayhem. The soldiers killed indiscriminately and were especially harsh on the monks, taking special care to humiliate and torture them, before killing them. When the army arrived in a town the general asked for a report. His subordinate replied, “The population is subdued and terrified!” This gave the general some satisfaction. Then the subordinate continued, “In the local monastery all monks have fled, except one.”
Hearing this, the general became furious. He rushed to the monastery to meet the monk who dared defy him. When he saw the monk he pulled his sword out and pushed it towards his stomach and hissed in a low but terrifying voice, “Don’t you know who I am? Why, I could take this sword and run it through your belly without blinking my eye!”
The monk was not fazed, he replied gently, “And don’t you know who I am? I could have your sword run through my belly without blinking an eye.”
The general was awestruck. He sheathed his sword, bowed, and left without uttering another word.

Monday, June 17, 2013

False Awakening

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I was having and extensive dream about being in Joshua Tree. The dream ended, and I woke up to vibrations. I encouraged the vibrations until I was eventually able to get up "out" of my body. My bedroom was much different than normal. I walked over to a large mirror that was along one wall. I started to get lost in the vastness of the reflection, so I moved away from the mirror and decided to attempt to observe some data that I could verify later. I began to head out of the bedroom, but as I began to turn the door handle, I found myself back in bed with vibrations. Knowing that it would be a distraction later, I opted to get up and use the restroom before trying to explore more. While in the bathroom, it struck me that I should do a reality check to make sure that I was actually awake. I quickly realized that I was not actually in the bathroom, and found myself again in bed with vibrations. I was able to determine that I was partly awake in my actual room. I encouraged the vibrations and began to get the sensations of sleep paralysis. They slowly increased. I normally experience sleep paralysis on my back, but this time I was laying on my side and slightly curled up. I felt some pain with the vibrations - especially around my ribs. It was not overly uncomfortable, and I recognized that it was just an aspect of the sleep paralysis. I tried to ignore the discomfort and focus in of the various noises that were slowly building in the distance. The distraction of still needing to use the restroom was too great, so I stopped the state and got out of bed.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A Taste of Everything

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I woke up at 5:15am to meditate. I was in and out of various hypnogogic blips the whole time. I was struggling too much to maintain my awareness, so I took off the headphones and just let myself drift off. I repeated, "now I am out of body" as I fell asleep. At some point later, I suddenly became fully aware. I had the impression that "I" had just asked the question, "who am I." The answer that I was getting back was something like, "you are everything." I briefly found myself engulfed in what I might describe as white fuzz - it was a feeling of being a very powerful and active energy. The feeling was amazing and exhilarating, but at the same time, overwhelming. After only experiencing this briefly, I heard a yell as if somebody was falling off a cliff. The voice sounded like my own - and one that I have heard during sleep paralysis. The experience quickly ended after that. I am trying not to make any assumptions about the experience - I can only say that it felt very, very good. It seems likely that "I" was frightened by the sensation of loosing my identity (the yelling voice). Hard to say. I tried to settle into the experience again, but eventually drifted back to sleep.