Consciousness Exploration Journal
6/17/2013
I was having and extensive dream about being in Joshua Tree. The dream ended, and I woke up to vibrations. I encouraged the vibrations until I was eventually able to get up "out" of my body. My bedroom was much different than normal. I walked over to a large mirror that was along one wall. I started to get lost in the vastness of the reflection, so I moved away from the mirror and decided to attempt to observe some data that I could verify later. I began to head out of the bedroom, but as I began to turn the door handle, I found myself back in bed with vibrations. Knowing that it would be a distraction later, I opted to get up and use the restroom before trying to explore more. While in the bathroom, it struck me that I should do a reality check to make sure that I was actually awake. I quickly realized that I was not actually in the bathroom, and found myself again in bed with vibrations. I was able to determine that I was partly awake in my actual room. I encouraged the vibrations and began to get the sensations of sleep paralysis. They slowly increased. I normally experience sleep paralysis on my back, but this time I was laying on my side and slightly curled up. I felt some pain with the vibrations - especially around my ribs. It was not overly uncomfortable, and I recognized that it was just an aspect of the sleep paralysis. I tried to ignore the discomfort and focus in of the various noises that were slowly building in the distance. The distraction of still needing to use the restroom was too great, so I stopped the state and got out of bed.
Showing posts with label mirror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mirror. Show all posts
Monday, June 17, 2013
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Reflection Test
Consciousness Exploration Journal
May 28th, 2011 4pm
I laid down to listen to William Buhlman’s OBE techniques
(portal). I fell asleep during the guided technique and woke up sometime after. I turned on the riverbend dream loop on my iPod and fell back asleep. I woke up a few times after this but did not feel any vibrations or signs of a potential OBE. I decided to not worry about laying in my typical meditation position and instead relax into a more comfortable sleep position. Shortly after that, I woke up to some intense vibrations. Eventually I was able to exit my body.
I was in my bedroom floating toward a large mirror. It was really more like I was being escorted to the mirror. There should have been a set of french doors leading to the back yard, but instead was this very large mirror. I was trying to look at my reflection in the eyes, but was having a difficult time getting my head to turn the correct way. I kept overshooting to one side and then the other. It was as if my reflection was also having a hard time looking at me. Eventually, we made full eye contact. When this happened there was a strange sensation like the eye contact really locked into place. This was accompanied by a slight jolt and buzzing sound. My reflection seemed mostly normal (as normal as one might expect in an OBE or dream). I smiled at myself and noticed that my teeth were broken and discolored. I have experienced this in several dreams in the past so I was not surprised. I tried just knocking and rubbing my teeth out to see if they would go away. One or two fell out, but little else changed. Curious if I could change how they looked, I did a sort of magician-like motion to change them to pearly white. It did not work. Being playful, I started make faces at myself. I got a little carried away and lifted my hands up in the air as if I had claws and began to snarl and make mean faces. The reflection became very exaggerated. The room grew dark and began to take on a red tint. It was straight out of a horror movie. I realized that things were headed down a path that I didn’t care to explore, so I moved away from the mirror.
Shortly after this, I woke up again to more vibrations. This time, I had a very sharp pain in my right side. I was in full sleep paralysis. The vibrations were very intense. I had the sensation that my feet were hanging off the end of the bed. I had the childlike sensation that something might grab at them. My body felt very dense and it was uncomfortable at the various areas that were touching the bed. The pain in my side grew even sharper. I decided to just let it all go and keep working toward getting out of my body. I remember thinking, “Oh no you don’t... I’m not falling for these tricks!”. The buzzing and vibrations grew louder. I could hear a voice singing in my ear and footsteps in the room. I did my best to ignore this and stuck with it. I realized that I should take some action instead of just waiting and gutting it out. I announced that I wanted to be at my bedroom door. I did this twice and did begin to feel some change, but nothing solid. I realized that I should try to go somewhere further away from my body. I decided on the bathroom and called out that I wanted to be in the bathroom. I quickly remembered that the bathroom had two large mirrors and I didn’t want to inadvertently pick up where I had left off with my previous reflection. Eventually, I decided to just sit up out of my body.
Everything was totally black, but I had the sensation that I was standing in my room. I tried to "open my eyes", but no luck. I tried to rub them with my hands, but that didn’t work either. I decided to breath very deep and slowly; with each exhale, I tried to breath vision into the scene. It did not exactly work but it did create some interesting color effects. I eventually decided to move to the kitchen to regroup. I don’t remember actually moving to the kitchen, but I had a strange overhead visual like I was tracking the way down the hall and into the kitchen. There were people working in my house. I didn’t actually see them, I was just aware of their presence. The people were cleaning up something. I believe they were vacuuming up water or debris of some sort.
In the kitchen I did not really have any vision. It was more like having a perception of the kitchen. It was like I was standing in the kitchen with my eyes closed and visualizing what the kitchen should look like. Finally, I felt established and clear enough to try my intent. I said to myself, “I want to visit my friend C.W.” Nothing seemed to happen, so I repeated it several times. As I was doing this, it crossed my mind that I might still have the scary appearance left over from the mirror event. I did not want to accidentally scare my friend, so I did not try and maintain the state and just experienced it slowly fading until I woke up in bed.
I'm not exactly sure what to make of the experience with the mirror. The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is that I must remember to keep my thoughts in check and to maintain some clarity and focus.
May 28th, 2011 4pm
(portal). I fell asleep during the guided technique and woke up sometime after. I turned on the riverbend dream loop on my iPod and fell back asleep. I woke up a few times after this but did not feel any vibrations or signs of a potential OBE. I decided to not worry about laying in my typical meditation position and instead relax into a more comfortable sleep position. Shortly after that, I woke up to some intense vibrations. Eventually I was able to exit my body. I was in my bedroom floating toward a large mirror. It was really more like I was being escorted to the mirror. There should have been a set of french doors leading to the back yard, but instead was this very large mirror. I was trying to look at my reflection in the eyes, but was having a difficult time getting my head to turn the correct way. I kept overshooting to one side and then the other. It was as if my reflection was also having a hard time looking at me. Eventually, we made full eye contact. When this happened there was a strange sensation like the eye contact really locked into place. This was accompanied by a slight jolt and buzzing sound. My reflection seemed mostly normal (as normal as one might expect in an OBE or dream). I smiled at myself and noticed that my teeth were broken and discolored. I have experienced this in several dreams in the past so I was not surprised. I tried just knocking and rubbing my teeth out to see if they would go away. One or two fell out, but little else changed. Curious if I could change how they looked, I did a sort of magician-like motion to change them to pearly white. It did not work. Being playful, I started make faces at myself. I got a little carried away and lifted my hands up in the air as if I had claws and began to snarl and make mean faces. The reflection became very exaggerated. The room grew dark and began to take on a red tint. It was straight out of a horror movie. I realized that things were headed down a path that I didn’t care to explore, so I moved away from the mirror.
Shortly after this, I woke up again to more vibrations. This time, I had a very sharp pain in my right side. I was in full sleep paralysis. The vibrations were very intense. I had the sensation that my feet were hanging off the end of the bed. I had the childlike sensation that something might grab at them. My body felt very dense and it was uncomfortable at the various areas that were touching the bed. The pain in my side grew even sharper. I decided to just let it all go and keep working toward getting out of my body. I remember thinking, “Oh no you don’t... I’m not falling for these tricks!”. The buzzing and vibrations grew louder. I could hear a voice singing in my ear and footsteps in the room. I did my best to ignore this and stuck with it. I realized that I should take some action instead of just waiting and gutting it out. I announced that I wanted to be at my bedroom door. I did this twice and did begin to feel some change, but nothing solid. I realized that I should try to go somewhere further away from my body. I decided on the bathroom and called out that I wanted to be in the bathroom. I quickly remembered that the bathroom had two large mirrors and I didn’t want to inadvertently pick up where I had left off with my previous reflection. Eventually, I decided to just sit up out of my body.
Everything was totally black, but I had the sensation that I was standing in my room. I tried to "open my eyes", but no luck. I tried to rub them with my hands, but that didn’t work either. I decided to breath very deep and slowly; with each exhale, I tried to breath vision into the scene. It did not exactly work but it did create some interesting color effects. I eventually decided to move to the kitchen to regroup. I don’t remember actually moving to the kitchen, but I had a strange overhead visual like I was tracking the way down the hall and into the kitchen. There were people working in my house. I didn’t actually see them, I was just aware of their presence. The people were cleaning up something. I believe they were vacuuming up water or debris of some sort.
In the kitchen I did not really have any vision. It was more like having a perception of the kitchen. It was like I was standing in the kitchen with my eyes closed and visualizing what the kitchen should look like. Finally, I felt established and clear enough to try my intent. I said to myself, “I want to visit my friend C.W.” Nothing seemed to happen, so I repeated it several times. As I was doing this, it crossed my mind that I might still have the scary appearance left over from the mirror event. I did not want to accidentally scare my friend, so I did not try and maintain the state and just experienced it slowly fading until I woke up in bed.
I'm not exactly sure what to make of the experience with the mirror. The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is that I must remember to keep my thoughts in check and to maintain some clarity and focus.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Consciousness Art - "Lucid"
This is a recent piece for a series that I am working on related to my experiences in the exploration of consciousness.
Lucid
Oil on Canvas
37" X 22"
Lucid
Oil on Canvas
37" X 22"
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