What's on TV?

Consciousness Exploration Journal

12/9/2012

I woke up at 6am and settled into meditation around 6:15. I tried to let my thoughts and impressions flow organically. I saw an image of a white room. In the corner of the room was a white couch. The idea came to me that I was in a library and could choose any book. I had the thought that I would just need to push my finger on an invisible button on the wall and a data file (a book-sized hard-drive device) would come out. I was not out of body at this point but catching glimpses of images and impression (something similar to remote viewing). So, while I had flashes of feeling like I was there, it certainly was not a full blown OBE or lucid dream. I had the idea that I could just insert the hard drive anywhere into the wall of the room to experience the data. I wasn’t sure what “data” I wanted to explore, so I just opted for a random event from my childhood. I visualized myself inserting the hard drive into the wall. I waited a bit, but no impressions or thoughts came. Eventually, I had the notion that I should sink deeper into meditation and just notice whatever came along. I wasn’t seeming to have much luck, so I sent out an intent to receive some guidance. I got back (or invented) that I should just go to sleep and let “them” do the work. 

I woke up a short time later to sleep paralysis. I heard a voice saying, “heeeelp meeee.” At first I thought that I should see who needed help, but then realized that I was likely hearing my own thoughts. There was a very loud ringing and various other strange sensations. I just pressed on with courage. I sent out an intent to receive help or guidance. I eventually shifted back to being fully focused in physical reality, but was able to easily slip back into sleep paralysis. I began to ever so gently think about being “out of body.” I had the vague impression (sensation?) that somebody reached down with their arm to help me up. Once “out,” I found myself in my bedroom. I walked (floated) through the bathroom. Things were foggy at first, but I mentally encouraged the scene to become more clear. Wanting to keep things stable, I began rubbing my hands together (a trick that I have read or heard about somewhere along the lines).  

As I went through the bathroom, I  caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had the general shape of a humanoid, but was composed of a shadowy blackness and had no specific features. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, which seemed strange to me. I didn’t want to stop and spend too much time on it, so I continued out into the living room. I tried to think of something that I could do or observe that might provide some form of verification later. I decided to try and observe what my wife was doing. I could hear her walking around. It was a very distant and muffled sound and I was having trouble pinpointing her location. I called out her name, but still could not find her. I got the impression that she was watching TV. I “thought-jumped” (instantly moved) to the TV. I was very focused on observing it and listening to it. It was an old style TV - the kind that sits on the floor and is incased in wood. I saw a black and white cartoon-like image of sorts, but the details were non-specific. I could hear two of the characters talking back and forth. My impression was that one of them had a sort of fast and squeaky voice. Alvin, from Alvin and the chipmunks, came to mind. I observed the TV for a short time until I felt like I had enough data.  

Later that morning, I found out that my wife had in fact been watching TV. However, her description of what was on the TV did not seem to match what I had seen. My family did have an old TV similar to the one in the experience. I had completely forgotten about the library and my intention to see a childhood memory. Perhaps I was getting a blend of what my wife was doing and the data from my childhood - or maybe it was just all in my head. It is never easy to tell.

I Think, I See

Consciousness Exploration Journal

11/1/2012

It started as a typical dream. I was sitting around and talking with some people. The topic was about how amazing “all-that-is,” the system, etc is. I was trying to express how powerful the feeling was to even think of it. I felt an immense surge of joyful sadness and saddening joy building inside of me as I tried to speak. It was completely overwhelming. I remember having to lay down. 

At some point later, I woke up in my bed and had the intuitive sense that I could encourage sleep paralysis. As I did, I began to hear the strange voice again. It was, as usual, broken up and garbled. This time, it was a very deep and powerful voice - a stereotypical demon sound. I let go of the fear that started to rise and just remembered my intent to only interact with loving beings who intended to help and guide me. The voice came through a bit better and I understood it to say something like, “it is very good to be with you again.” I thought/said back that it was also good to be with them. My excitement at what was happening started to make the state fade. I was able to get the state back, and could hear a seemingly different garbled voice. With this voice, I could hear laughter in the background. I had the thought that the laugh sounded like my own. I kept trying, but was unable to distinguish anything of value. I faded in and out of the state several times. When I was fully in the state again, I decided to try and “leave my body”. Intending not to try so hard, I gently rose up to an upright position. I stayed very calm and casual. I knew that trying to “see” had failed in the past many times - so I went with pure thought instead. Ignoring the idea of vision, I just focused on wanting to be in my bathroom facing the shower doors. Slowly -- I found myself standing at the doors. I rattled them with my hands. Things were a bit fuzzy, but the approach had worked. Apparently it has nothing to do with seeing, but much more to do with thought and intent. It seems that to create a clear and crisp visual experience, it is better to think less about trying to see more clearly and more about trying to think more clearly. 

Tom Campbell NYC MBT Master Workshop 5/5

For those that have any desire to explore (or to continue to explore) consciousness (via lucid dreams, meditation, OBE, astral projection, et all). This video should be a prerequisite and should be re-watched along the way. 

Another World

This particular dream is from a few years ago. It is what I would consider to be a guided experience. In these cases, the level of awareness is more than that of a typical dream, but not as clear as in a full blown lucid dream or out-of-body experience. It has stuck with me and my memory of the experience is very clear. 

I suddenly found myself in a strange world. I had the immediate thought that I was there to see that world. The beings were somewhat human like, but had slightly different features. They very closely resembled the characters in the movie Avatar. I began wondering around the area that I was in. It was a very clear and clean environment. There were various organic shaped buildings that blended nicely into the landscape. The majority of the structures faced the ocean. It was clear that the ocean and beach were an integral part of the culture. There was a sense of respect for the ocean similar to what many Native Americans have displayed toward the earth. 

The water seemed more viscous that one might normally see. The waves rose extremely high (30ft at times). These large waves were no more than 30ft from the shoreline, but they always settled gently before hitting the shore. 

At one point, there was a sense of some daily ritual approaching. The people were making the various, routine arrangements. I realized that this ritual had to do with the rising of the tide. I quickly noticed that I was walking in a dry channel that would soon be full of water. Others in the channel were exiting for higher ground. There was no sense of rush or hurry; It was just a daily routine. I, on the other hand was slightly rushed to find a way out. As I was making my way out, one of the people/beings spotted me from the upper edge of the channel. He was a younger male (comparable to a 21 year old man perhaps). He somehow knew that I was an outsider. I did not get the impression that he was any type of security or police, but more like a rebel with strong opinions about outsiders. He was saying something along the lines of, “you are not welcome! You cannot be here!” etc. I tried to show him that I meant no harm and wasn't even sure where I was or why I was there. He did not budge and eventually shot some sort of dart at me. It missed and stuck in the sand near my foot. As I bent down to pick it up, he jumped from the ledge onto my back. He started trying to get the dart from me. As we were struggling for the dart, I noticed some drips of blood on my hand. Apparently the dart had stuck him in one of his fingers. He slumped to his knees in the sand. I got away and started backing down the channel. I wondered what the dart was... poison? Would he die? I looked back at him; he seemed hazy and blurry now. I could tell that the water was coming and I had to leave the channel. I was concerned for him, but at the same time, there was a sense that no harm was actually done. 

I made my way out of the channel and back to where the people were. Most of the people were sitting in various locations looking out toward the ocean - similar to how people might gather to watch the sunset at the beach. They were not watching a sunset though. Swimming in the giant waves and throughout the water were 100's of dolphins. At times they looked like dolphins, sometimes like whales, and other times like sharks. The more I tried to focus on the details of one of the animals the more it was apt to change. At one point, as I tried to make out the details of one of the animals, it turned into a giant inflatable Shamu toy. At that point, I had the thought that I was goofing up the interpretation of what the animals actually were. I noticed an older man/being sitting on a small sandy hill. It was clear that he was enjoying the event and that he had seen it many times in his life. I sat next to him and watched with him. I remembered being amazed by both the size of the waves and the motion of the animals swimming through the thick, blue water. I wanted to know what the animals were called. In an attempt to remain inconspicuous, I asked the man, "what are they called again?" He responded politely with a name that I did not recognize (and can't remember). 

Later in the experience I was inside of a large room. It seemed to be some sort of lobby for a dining or gathering area. Apparently, I was too early. A security guard approached me asking me who I was and why I was there. He was not threatening, but very intent on finding out who I was. I tried to play it off to some degree while still maintaining honesty. "I'm very confused, I'm not sure why I am here or what is going on". Several people came over by us. They seemed to understand how to help me. They took me to a courtyard outside of the lobby (none of the buildings had any doors or windows. They were all very organic looking and open to the outside). They said something along the lines of, "you need something to eat." They stood me in front of what looked like a honeysuckle bush. Unsure of what to do, I stood there for a moment. Then I noticed a little girl standing at a nearby bush. She started going from flower to flower sucking on them. I looked at the people as if to say, "I should do that?" They nodded. I sucked on one of the flowers. Out came a small bit of a sweet tasting juice (similar to honey). I sampled several different flowers. I was getting very excited to try more, but realized that I did not want to be rude and take more than I needed. 

The experience ended and I found myself back in bed, waking up.

Getting to Know Myself

I have been focusing a bit more on utilizing phasing techniques during meditation to explore consciousness. The results have been interesting. 

Consciousness Exploration Journal

7/25/2012

I intentionally woke up at 5:30am to attempt to do some exploring. I read for a bit and then began meditating at 6:15am. I slipped into a typical dream until around 7:30am.  After waking, I again began to meditate with the hopes of utilizing a phasing technique. I slipped into a deep meditative state easily since my body was already very relaxed. I lost awareness of my physical senses and began to get the typical sensations related to sleep paralysis. Though I was fully aware, my thought process was a bit sluggish and it took some effort to remember what my plan was. After a few moments, I recalled that I had simply wanted to experiment with that state. I began to use the “noticing” technique. This approach involves getting into a deep meditative state (point consciousness, focus 12, etc) and then gently noticing anything that begins to occur (without being attached to it). It is to be a calm and objective observer of the experience. After a short time, I began to feel vibrations and to hear various sounds. Eventually however, I “clicked out” or fell asleep.  

At some point later, I became fully aware and present. I found myself flying low over a street. I was traveling very fast - too fast to take in any details of my surroundings. I got the impression that I was being led to something. I understood that I could stop the process at any time, but otherwise, I should just let things unfold. I passed over a beach and continued out over the ocean. I briefly started to travel in the water, but I did not like the darkness very much, and so came back out. I began flying straight up. The sky was covered with storm clouds. In the clouds, I could see a round pattern of lights. My first thought was that it looked like a UFO. I wondered if I was being led to the lights, which at first had me feeling a bit uneasy. I decided to let go of any fear and just allow the experience to unfold. I zoomed past the location of the lights and was pulled up until the clouds were no longer visible and I was surrounded by a thick darkness. I had the sensation of being very far away - comparable to floating in outer space. What happened next is too foggy to recall.

Later, I became slightly aware of my body laying in bed and could hear my wife getting ready in the bathroom. As I picked up on these morning noises, my body was violently vibrating and I could hear what sounded like a voice trying to get through a radio with poor reception. I mentally sent out a “hello?” To my surprise, I immediately heard a reply back, “hello.” There was so much input going on that I found it difficult to focus on the voice. I was taking in the input from the actual room that I was in - complete with the sounds of my wife getting ready and my dog’s nails tapping along the wood floor. At the same time, I was experiencing intense vibrations. There was an almost unbearable buzzing and shrieking sound coming through with the voice. The more I focused on one element, the more intense that element seemed to become. 

The voice continued to come through, though it was very difficult to make out. However, at one point it came through very clearly. I got the impression that this one thing was important for me to remember. Like many other experiences, the information came through in a chunk - yet at the same time, there was an actual voice. It is not easy to describe. The information that came through was something very close to this: “Get to know your true self.”  

I tried to focus on the voice more, but the experience eventually faded. I have an idea of where to explore next - my “true self.” 

Good Vibrations

Consciousness Exploration Journal

6/26/2012

I woke up at 3:30am to let my dog outside. I read until 4:30am. After getting tired, I set my intent to do some exploring. I repeated my affirmation several times and sent out a general request to have an experience that would help support my growth. I repeated this several times until my sleepy mind began to mix it up. I re-focused and stated my intent and request again. I held my intent and focus by means of a mantra and by repeating a simple visualization. I began to feel the swaying motion -  like paper on waves or grass in the wind. I eventually slipped into a vibrational state. I moved in and out of the state several times. I was surprised at how easy it seemed to get the vibrations to restart. I caught my thoughts starting to drift toward fear - fear of the unknown, of sleep paralysis, etc. I let it go and just tried to enjoy the vibrations. I had just re-read in Far Journeys how Bob Monroe had experienced the vibrational state as a child and how moving it was for him. I realized that I might as well enjoy it too. So I just tried to relax and experience it. When I focused on the sensations, I realized that it did feel pretty amazing - like being surged with energy. It crossed my mind that the lesson was that I can move in and out of the state at will - with the right frame of mind. 

A Little Girl and a Wolfpack

Consciousness Exploration Journal

6/24/2012

I became lucid in a dream. I was in a bustling hallway of a school. I began trying to ask if there was anybody around that could provide some guidance. Several of the people faded in and out as I tried to speak to them. Eventually, a woman led me into a room and to a round table. 7 - 8 people were already sitting around it. I said out loud to the table, “I am looking for some help with my spiritual growth.” I began to get the impression that nobody at the table was really all that interested. It was a group meeting for some other purpose. One girl across from me began to carry on about something. I could not make out the details, but I got the impression that she was becoming aggressive toward me. Soon she was leaning closer and yelling in my face. I had the idea that she was like a bomb that was about to explode. I decided that it was a little too threatening. I puffed up with a deep rumbling voice and said, “be gone!” She instantly vanished from the table. I started to realize that I wasn’t going to get much direct guidance from the group. The person to the left of me suddenly took on the appearance of a small girl. She looked at me and said, “I’m scared.” Hearing her say that made me realize that I was being pretty selfish - always zipping around and asking everybody for guidance and help. I had never stopped to think that I could possibly be helpful to somebody. I focused my attention on helping the girl. The scene shifted. The girl and I were sitting in a car behind some building. It was night. She was sitting in the passenger seat and still a bit unsettled. I was doing my best to put her at ease and assure her that I would keep her safe. I got out of the driver seat to get some snacks out of the back for her. As I got back in, I caught myself feeling a bit nervous because it was so dark outside. I realized that it didn’t make much sense to lock the doors, but I did anyway. As I continued to try and keep her at ease, I felt myself shifting back to my sleeping body. 

I tried to muster up the energy to turn on my light and write down the experience, but began slipping into a vibrational state. I braced for sleep paralysis. The sensations began to build. As the intensity grew, I heard my wife’s voice. With mild confusion and slight concern, she said, “what is going on?” I was doubtful that she actually said anything, but brought myself out of the state to check. She was sound asleep next to me, so I encouraged the state to return. I began to gently float upward. I felt as though I was floating slightly above my body and swaying in the breeze. I felt a bit stuck - unable to get any further. I tried several things to keep the process going, but nothing seemed to be working. I was just stuck. I caught myself actually whimpering as the state progressed. I realized how silly I was being. I decided that whatever was going to happen - no matter how scary or bad - was fine. I would accept it. At that, I transitioned to standing in my bedroom. I jumped up with excitement and flew through the ceiling. I got slightly hung up as I tried to pass through the roof. knowing that I was not actually stuck in the roof and that the room itself was likely a projection of my expectations, I let go of it all. I found myself in a black void. Not wasting any time, I set my intent to create and appear within my grassy field (one that I have used in various visualization techniques). Slowly, the field appeared below me and I floated down into it. It was night time and the field was not exactly right, but it seemed to be a good first try. I did my best to make it daytime and for the scene to look more accurate. It helped only slightly, so I eventually gave up my efforts. Still feeling fairly excited to have had a successful transition, I began running at full speed in a large circle around the field. After several laps, I remembered that I did not want to waste the experience. I circled a few more times and then gathered my focus. I expressed my intent to receive some form of guidance. The scene slightly shifted and I noticed another being entering the field. It was difficult to make out fully. My awareness shifted off to the side of the field near a dirt driveway and several small barns. A shadowy, animal-like figure passed by. Then a few more. And then more. 40 or more of these animal beings must have ran by. As more passed, I began to see them as very large black dogs or wolves. I was not overly frightened, though they did have a intimidating and beastly appearance. I was not sure what to make of it all and could not understand the purpose of the event (if any). I did not have the gumption left to tackle whatever this experience had in store for me, so I decided to call it quits and wake up.