Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Getting to Know Myself

I have been focusing a bit more on utilizing phasing techniques during meditation to explore consciousness. The results have been interesting. 

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I intentionally woke up at 5:30am to attempt to do some exploring. I read for a bit and then began meditating at 6:15am. I slipped into a typical dream until around 7:30am.  After waking, I again began to meditate with the hopes of utilizing a phasing technique. I slipped into a deep meditative state easily since my body was already very relaxed. I lost awareness of my physical senses and began to get the typical sensations related to sleep paralysis. Though I was fully aware, my thought process was a bit sluggish and it took some effort to remember what my plan was. After a few moments, I recalled that I had simply wanted to experiment with that state. I began to use the “noticing” technique. This approach involves getting into a deep meditative state (point consciousness, focus 12, etc) and then gently noticing anything that begins to occur (without being attached to it). It is to be a calm and objective observer of the experience. After a short time, I began to feel vibrations and to hear various sounds. Eventually however, I “clicked out” or fell asleep.  

At some point later, I became fully aware and present. I found myself flying low over a street. I was traveling very fast - too fast to take in any details of my surroundings. I got the impression that I was being led to something. I understood that I could stop the process at any time, but otherwise, I should just let things unfold. I passed over a beach and continued out over the ocean. I briefly started to travel in the water, but I did not like the darkness very much, and so came back out. I began flying straight up. The sky was covered with storm clouds. In the clouds, I could see a round pattern of lights. My first thought was that it looked like a UFO. I wondered if I was being led to the lights, which at first had me feeling a bit uneasy. I decided to let go of any fear and just allow the experience to unfold. I zoomed past the location of the lights and was pulled up until the clouds were no longer visible and I was surrounded by a thick darkness. I had the sensation of being very far away - comparable to floating in outer space. What happened next is too foggy to recall.

Later, I became slightly aware of my body laying in bed and could hear my wife getting ready in the bathroom. As I picked up on these morning noises, my body was violently vibrating and I could hear what sounded like a voice trying to get through a radio with poor reception. I mentally sent out a “hello?” To my surprise, I immediately heard a reply back, “hello.” There was so much input going on that I found it difficult to focus on the voice. I was taking in the input from the actual room that I was in - complete with the sounds of my wife getting ready and my dog’s nails tapping along the wood floor. At the same time, I was experiencing intense vibrations. There was an almost unbearable buzzing and shrieking sound coming through with the voice. The more I focused on one element, the more intense that element seemed to become. 

The voice continued to come through, though it was very difficult to make out. However, at one point it came through very clearly. I got the impression that this one thing was important for me to remember. Like many other experiences, the information came through in a chunk - yet at the same time, there was an actual voice. It is not easy to describe. The information that came through was something very close to this: “Get to know your true self.”  

I tried to focus on the voice more, but the experience eventually faded. I have an idea of where to explore next - my “true self.” 

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