Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Busy Night

Consciousness Exploration Journal

It started out as a typical dream: I was in a stereotypical downtown area of a large city. There was a kid (around 7 or 8 years old) that lived there. I was somehow connected to this kid. At first, the kid came across as a girl and then eventually as a boy. It was like I was getting the story without fulling seeing or experiencing it.

At one point, when I realized that he and I had some sort of connection, I saw our energy join... like two streams of light coming together. These streams shot up and broke though the ground and into the air. These columns of light stood erect along the various sidewalks and were spaced apart from each other like street lights.

I started seeing the dream from a third person point of view. The “me” in the dream was trying to get away from the kid for some reason (whom I still had not actually seen). It was not a scary situation, but I was clearly trying to hide from him. We were running through what seemed to be train cars. I was in one train and he was in another train (the trains were side by side and moving in the same direction). Sometimes the cars seemed to be underground like a subway, other times not (it was all very unstable and dreamlike). The chase continued. As I watched this unfold, I remember thinking that the “me” in the dream should just stop and see what the kid wanted. At this thought the kid came through the door of the train car that the dream “me” was in. The dream “me” was on the ground now for some reason... hiding... tired... I’m not sure. The train car was dark now. The kid had a sense of power (courage maybe) and he carried it well. He came closer to me and into the light. He was (or looked like) Arnold from the old TV show Different Strokes. He came up to me and gently kicked me a few times with his foot. He raised an eye brown and said something like, “Uh, why are you acting like that... just laying there? You don’t need to do that.” From the third person perspective that I had, I could now see that the dream “me” on the floor looked exactly like Arnold also. The kid and I were somehow the same.

After this part, the kid and I were more like balls of light. We exchanged info for a bit. He was explaining to me what things were like for him to live in this city. He had to live under the streets for some reason. There was some sort of being or person in charge that did not want him to create too much commotion on the streets by zooming around and making lights in the sky. The being that controlled this did not seem to be like a dictator necessarily, but more along the lines of a grumpy parent. If the kid just stayed out of sight, then there were not problems. The kid seemed to be very accepting of this and just made the best of it. After some conversing, the kid and I were like regular pals.

I suddenly remembered the large columns of light that had risen out of the street at the beginning of the dream. I’m frankly not sure exactly when that part happened, but the point was that the kid did not know about it yet. I was worried that it might get him in trouble so I explained it to him. He, in a rush, drug me out to the street (through the ground) and said, “Come on, we have to push all of them back down. Quickly, before he sees them.” We zipped through the sky as small balls of bluish white light pushing the columns of light back into the ground one at a time. There was a strong sense of teamwork and it really felt more like a game. We completed the task in a single breath and landed back on the street. “Shouldn’t we check the other streets?” I asked. He explained that he was only responsible for the streets within a specific bus route and that the other streets would not have been effected. There was a moment of shared enjoyment between us; like kids that had just gotten away with some mess and were now out of breath and laughing at the excitement of it all.

I started thinking about how much fun it was to zip around the sky like that. So I decided to jump up and take off again. Suddenly I had my normal “dream body”. Flying was very slow now. As I floated up past the windows on the buildings, I suddenly realized that I was dreaming. The dream scape began to fade. I stopped and stood at the top ledge of a building. As the dream faded to darkness I could feel strong vibrations. I knew this meant that I was shifting states or was moving back to my body in sleep paralysis. “dang it... what was my intent? I know I had an intent...” I though to myself. I kept holding on trying to remember what my plan was if I became lucid. “Oh yea! I want to see one of my past lives!” I have to laugh at myself here. I suddenly realized that I should be careful what I ask for so directly. So I sort of modified that with, “You know... if it’s okay and is necessary for my growth and all that.”

I tried to hold on, but soon found myself in my sleeping body stuck in sleep paralysis. I am no stranger to this state and have spent a good 17 years trying to work through my fears with it. Each time gets a little better and more interesting, but I still find it less than fun. It is what it is. So, back in sleep paralysis I began to have the usual sensations: buzzing, vibrating, music, voices, sense of somebody standing next to my bed, and on and on. As my physical body was experiencing fear, I was (in my mind) coaching myself through it, “Have courage. Just let go of those noises. Hang in there”. The other part of “me” was saying, “Okay, but I sure am tired of this. Is it really necessary? I’ll do it, but I sure don’t like it.” I continued to force myself to lay there and just experience it. After a while, I slipped back into a dream. It was more like I was still laying in bed and perceiving the dream. I was riding in an old pickup truck. My dad was driving. I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. I got the impression that we were going to a Toby Keith concert. I don’t think that it was actually Toby Keith though, I think this was just a way of expressing that it was a popular country singer. It got sort of confusing, but either my sister was the singer that we were going to see or maybe she was just going to meet us there. I didn’t get that part very clearly. It crossed my mind after waking up that if this was a peek into my past life, maybe my sister was a male singer... or perhaps maybe she was the dad driving the truck (though he looked like my present dad). The era of this dream seemed to be around the 60’s. This could have been a childhood memory from living on a farm as a small child. Hard to say.

After this very quick glimpse, I found myself back in sleep paralysis. I went over the dream/event that had just occurred so that I would remember it. The sleep paralysis continued. I kept gritting my teeth (figuratively) and riding it out. At some point I decided that I had waited long enough and that it was time to get the heck out of that state. I wasn’t about to give up and wake my body up, so I decided to go with the classic Bob Monroe out-of-body “roll-out”. I tried several times and was very happy when it finally worked. Once “out” I began floating up. I have had this sensation before when breaking free of sleep paralysis... like somebody was just gently spinning me around above my body in zero gravity. There have been a few times that I immediately found myself zipping though a tunnel, but I’m starting to think that those instances were just freebies to give me a taste. Anyway, I just kept trying to be very passive and let the experience continue naturally.

As all of this was happening, I had a funny thought or received a strange message. It was something along the lines of “beans will lubricate this process”. So, I’m not 100% sure that I got the beans part right, but the message was clearly about something that would make the process of sleep paralysis and “getting out” easier. Anyway, I think I’ll just keep that one in the back of my head for now ;)

After a while the event ended naturally and my body woke up. It was a very interesting night indeed.

I hardly watch T.V., but happened to turn it on the night after this, and Toby Keith was on a Comedy Channel. Synchronicity or chance? Uncertainty prevails.

I always find it interesting that things (such as my intent upon becoming lucid) from waking life are often difficult to recall in a lucid dream... in the same way that trying to remember the details of a dream is difficult in waking life. Real is relative to the experiencer, but not the experience.

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