Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I was listening to The Lovit Center’s binaural beat track. I was drifting in and out of awareness. I began to have short dream vignettes and decided to just let myself drift toward sleep. I moved through several dream settings - not fully aware or lucid. I found myself driving in Los Alamos, NM. Still being partly aware that I had been meditating in bed, I was surprised how much it felt like I was really moving along in the car. At this thought, I became fully aware and lucid. I thought of my body lying in bed. My awareness left the dream setting and was back in my body. The sense of rapid movement remained. The typical vibrations were present along with some distant voices, music, buzzing, etc. I ignored these sensations and focused my full attention on floating up “out” of my body. I felt vague sensations of floating and even sitting up, but I still seemed to be too “connected.” I focused every bit of my intent that I could muster on “leaving” my body. I became distracted by the sound of my breathing. It was very deep and rhythmic as if I was asleep. Though I could hear my breathing, I felt completely separate from it. It was very much like listening to somebody else breath. Focusing on the breathing sound brought me fully back to my sleeping body. Vibrations were still present. I noticed that my mouth felt very dry. I closed my mouth and adjusted my tongue to relieve the discomfort. When I did, the vibrations subsided and I returned to being fully aware in my body. I should know better. Any focus on the body will almost always take me right back to it. I could have lived with a dry mouth. It is interesting to note how very different it feels to be aware while seemingly disconnected from the body. Though the level of awareness can be the same when connected or disconnected, the “feel” is very different. Perhaps it is analogous to the noticeably different feel of being in the tropics versus being in the desert.

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