Thursday, March 20, 2014

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I suddenly became lucid. I had no recollection of any dream occurring before becoming lucid. I just suddenly became fully aware. D.Y. was with me. I looked at him and said, “this is a dream.” I repeated it a few times. Finally, he said something to the effect of, “yea, well, we’ll have to see about that one.”

Later, in another dream, I was in the bedroom of our old town home. I came out of the dark bedroom and instantly became lucid. There was a pretty woman just outside the door. She appeared to know that I was becoming lucid - she seemed to be “in on it” in some way. I walked by her and on down the stairs to the lower level. M.D., A.Y., and some others were down stairs. We were waiting for S.H. to arrive so we could celebrate her birthday. At several points, I felt myself loosing the experience and had to focus my attention on various items in the room to keep my awareness there. It seemed to help. At one point, I had a seemingly random thought that there was a “devil” upstairs in the bedroom. I also remembered that the pretty lady was up there. I was surprised by the seemingly random way that this thought popped into my head. I opted to simply ignore the thought. It seemed to work. Interestingly, the image/thought that I had of the devil creature looked just like the one that I saw as a child at a haunted house. The image of the devil costume stuck in my 4 year old brain. At that time, I remember having to verify with my mom that the devil (costume) was not actually real. 

In another dream, I was finishing a day of snow skiing. N.Y. was going down a very steep slope with me. I was showing her how to get down safely. At the bottom, I met up with the rest of our group. It was a very large group of 20 or so people - all people that I “knew” (in the dream anyway). As we began crossing a large bridge, I became lucid. I mostly kept the lucidity to myself and just followed along with the group over the bridge. I remember somebody smoking cloves and enjoying the smell. 

Sometime after the above dream, I woke up to blackness. I easily moved into a sleep paralysis state. Sleep paralysis was mild with only small bits of voices, sounds, and buzzing. There was a flashing blue light to the upper left of my vision - that was new. I eventually “left” my body and floated around in the darkness for a long time. I didn’t have much control. I do recall flying some short distances from time to time, but mostly, I just drifted. I remember making noises for some reason and realizing that I was probably also actually making them in my sleep. I can’t recall all that occurred in the darkness. It seemed to last for a fair amount of time. I do recall at a few points being somewhat uneasy and wondering if I should be frightened. Being tired of such thoughts during these experiences, I clearly expressed that I was not stopping. I was sticking with the experience no matter what happened. I paused at one point to send out a very strong “signal” of gratitude. I didn’t have any real sense of having a body or form, but I had the clear idea or concept of folding my hands together and getting on my knees. In a very powerful and booming voice, I sent out, “thank you for all that you have giving me.” It felt very strong and clear. The powerfulness of the voice was surprisingly foreign to me, but it was mine. I repeated the signal several times. Then, with the same approach, I sent out a request to receive guidance. I was not specific; it was just a general request. I suppose I meant guidance in my life in general and in relation to these experiences. In hindsight, I could have been more specific. For whatever reason, it feels like there is a clear connection in these void states with whatever it is that is “out” that there… God, source, the system, all-that-is, etc.

Sometime later, I had a dream in which I was sitting with A.Y., D.Y., S.H., etc and telling them about the lucid dreams above. I wanted to see if D.Y. remembered me trying to convince him that he was dreaming in the first dream. I didn’t get to finish finding out - or at least I don’t remember. 

I eventually woke up feeling somewhat exhausted. I rolled onto my side to signify that I was done playing for the night and slipped into a deep sleep. It is interesting that I became lucid in the town home dream as I walk from a dark room, through a doorway, and into the dream setting. In the dream involving skiing, I became lucid while crossing the bridge. Both could be considered metaphors for entering into a new realm or state of awareness. Always interesting. 

No comments: