Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I'm for Dinner

Consciousness Exploration Journal

I had woken up at 5 am and then gone back to bed hoping to instigate an OBE. At some point, I ended up in a dream. I was digging in our yard and putting in sprinklers ... or something along those lines. It was a very vivid and crisp dream. I was dimly aware that I was in another dreamlike state, but for the most part was engaged with my part in the dream. I had the sudden thought pop into my head that a large dog would be walking down the street toward me in the next few moments. I looked down the street and waited. After a bit, I could see a large, bright-orange animal headed my way. It was very large (150 + pounds) and really looked more like an oversized cross between a wolf and a fox. It crept closer to me as if it was going to begin circling me ... preparing to attack. I raised my shovel in the air like a weapon; ready to protect myself. I had a strange flash of clarity though, almost a slight hint of lucidity. Tom's many great words related to fear ran though my mind. I had the idea that the worst case might be that the dog would tear me to pieces... I decided to drop the shovel and close my eyes. I had a very brief and foggy vision of the dog being on top of me and eating me. I fully accepted the worst outcome and completely let go. There was no fear, pain, or discomfort. My awarness slowly faded from the scene and I transitioned straight to being in my bed. I lay there for a moment with my eyes still closed. I could feel the typical vibrations that I often experience with these states. I tried to encourage the vibrations to increase so that I could do more exploring, but apparently the experience was over.

The idea of experiencing various tests and challenges in the dream and OBE state has been on my mind for some time now. The basic idea is that we are constantly making choices and receiving feedback in every state. Tom Campbell has mentioned the idea that these other states are often used by the "larger consciousness system" as a means to test our level of fear and to encourage us to learn specific ideas or concepts.   Based on my own experiences over the years, I find this idea to be fairly probable. There is of course always a great deal of uncertainty involved. You can read my post Believe Nothing? to get an idea of how I approach beliefs and uncertainty. 

I have, over the years, had many experiences with a similar feel as the one from my journal above. In the past I would often become so frightened that I would become lucid. In many cases after becoming lucid, I would look the scary person, thing, monster etc in the eye, and say something along the lines of, "I'm not falling for it! This is a dream!". In a handful of cases, I have even wagged my finger at the scary thing as if I was scolding he/she/it. Becoming lucid in these specific cases has often causes some very interesting results. Many times the dream reality literally falls apart. The reality crumbles as my awareness expands beyond it. The general feeling might be comparable to the final scene of the Truman Show.

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