Good Vibrations

Consciousness Exploration Journal

6/26/2012

I woke up at 3:30am to let my dog outside. I read until 4:30am. After getting tired, I set my intent to do some exploring. I repeated my affirmation several times and sent out a general request to have an experience that would help support my growth. I repeated this several times until my sleepy mind began to mix it up. I re-focused and stated my intent and request again. I held my intent and focus by means of a mantra and by repeating a simple visualization. I began to feel the swaying motion -  like paper on waves or grass in the wind. I eventually slipped into a vibrational state. I moved in and out of the state several times. I was surprised at how easy it seemed to get the vibrations to restart. I caught my thoughts starting to drift toward fear - fear of the unknown, of sleep paralysis, etc. I let it go and just tried to enjoy the vibrations. I had just re-read in Far Journeys how Bob Monroe had experienced the vibrational state as a child and how moving it was for him. I realized that I might as well enjoy it too. So I just tried to relax and experience it. When I focused on the sensations, I realized that it did feel pretty amazing - like being surged with energy. It crossed my mind that the lesson was that I can move in and out of the state at will - with the right frame of mind. 

A Little Girl and a Wolfpack

Consciousness Exploration Journal

6/24/2012

I became lucid in a dream. I was in a bustling hallway of a school. I began trying to ask if there was anybody around that could provide some guidance. Several of the people faded in and out as I tried to speak to them. Eventually, a woman led me into a room and to a round table. 7 - 8 people were already sitting around it. I said out loud to the table, “I am looking for some help with my spiritual growth.” I began to get the impression that nobody at the table was really all that interested. It was a group meeting for some other purpose. One girl across from me began to carry on about something. I could not make out the details, but I got the impression that she was becoming aggressive toward me. Soon she was leaning closer and yelling in my face. I had the idea that she was like a bomb that was about to explode. I decided that it was a little too threatening. I puffed up with a deep rumbling voice and said, “be gone!” She instantly vanished from the table. I started to realize that I wasn’t going to get much direct guidance from the group. The person to the left of me suddenly took on the appearance of a small girl. She looked at me and said, “I’m scared.” Hearing her say that made me realize that I was being pretty selfish - always zipping around and asking everybody for guidance and help. I had never stopped to think that I could possibly be helpful to somebody. I focused my attention on helping the girl. The scene shifted. The girl and I were sitting in a car behind some building. It was night. She was sitting in the passenger seat and still a bit unsettled. I was doing my best to put her at ease and assure her that I would keep her safe. I got out of the driver seat to get some snacks out of the back for her. As I got back in, I caught myself feeling a bit nervous because it was so dark outside. I realized that it didn’t make much sense to lock the doors, but I did anyway. As I continued to try and keep her at ease, I felt myself shifting back to my sleeping body. 

I tried to muster up the energy to turn on my light and write down the experience, but began slipping into a vibrational state. I braced for sleep paralysis. The sensations began to build. As the intensity grew, I heard my wife’s voice. With mild confusion and slight concern, she said, “what is going on?” I was doubtful that she actually said anything, but brought myself out of the state to check. She was sound asleep next to me, so I encouraged the state to return. I began to gently float upward. I felt as though I was floating slightly above my body and swaying in the breeze. I felt a bit stuck - unable to get any further. I tried several things to keep the process going, but nothing seemed to be working. I was just stuck. I caught myself actually whimpering as the state progressed. I realized how silly I was being. I decided that whatever was going to happen - no matter how scary or bad - was fine. I would accept it. At that, I transitioned to standing in my bedroom. I jumped up with excitement and flew through the ceiling. I got slightly hung up as I tried to pass through the roof. knowing that I was not actually stuck in the roof and that the room itself was likely a projection of my expectations, I let go of it all. I found myself in a black void. Not wasting any time, I set my intent to create and appear within my grassy field (one that I have used in various visualization techniques). Slowly, the field appeared below me and I floated down into it. It was night time and the field was not exactly right, but it seemed to be a good first try. I did my best to make it daytime and for the scene to look more accurate. It helped only slightly, so I eventually gave up my efforts. Still feeling fairly excited to have had a successful transition, I began running at full speed in a large circle around the field. After several laps, I remembered that I did not want to waste the experience. I circled a few more times and then gathered my focus. I expressed my intent to receive some form of guidance. The scene slightly shifted and I noticed another being entering the field. It was difficult to make out fully. My awareness shifted off to the side of the field near a dirt driveway and several small barns. A shadowy, animal-like figure passed by. Then a few more. And then more. 40 or more of these animal beings must have ran by. As more passed, I began to see them as very large black dogs or wolves. I was not overly frightened, though they did have a intimidating and beastly appearance. I was not sure what to make of it all and could not understand the purpose of the event (if any). I did not have the gumption left to tackle whatever this experience had in store for me, so I decided to call it quits and wake up. 

Consciousness Art - "Conscious"

This painting was inspired by a series of tests that I carried out in the lucid dream/out-of-body state to test the "realness" of the experience.

Conscious
Oil on Canvas
4' X 6'

The Help Needs Help

Consciousness Exploration Journal

4/13/12

I was having an extensive dream about being in a yoga class. After the class, I walked out to my car to leave. It was a very small parking lot, but I could not seem to find my car. I pushed the alarm button on the keychain. Several cars (that were not mine) beeped and chirped. After some confusion, I eventually realized that I was dreaming. The first thought that entered my mind was that I wanted to go explore someplace where I could learn something. At that thought, I immediately began to float. I traveled higher and higher until everything began to get dark. I had the impression that I was now lying down in a dark void. With little control, and unsure of what was going to happen, I expressed a simple request to whoever might be there: “keep me safe please.” In hindsight, it was a bit silly; but at that moment, it felt valid. After a short bit, I decided to say (express) a request, “could I receive some guidance please?”. I began to hear what sounded like a broken radio transmission. It slowly became more clear and I heard a female voice reply, “yes”. A few seconds passed and then the voice came through again and said, “yes, but we are not very good at it right now”. Thinking that the voice was referring to a lack of experience in providing guidance, I playfully said, “well that’s not a good thing!” It could of course have meant that “they” are not good at communicating in that specific way. 

I should note... if I would have come across some of these stories years ago, I would have thought that the person who wrote them should probably seek some professional help, or that they had an over-active imagination. However, experience trumps intellectual analysis. Thinking about what is really going on in these experiences is of course much different than actually experiencing them first hand. It would be a mistake for me to take the experience and try to fit it into some pre-existing category. There would be no point. There is a great deal of uncertainty around such things. Each small step forward might bring some bit of understanding or clarity, but uncertainty will still prevail. The best we can do is to move forward based on what we find to be most probable. Of course, what we find to be most probable is often tainted by our fears, ego, and beliefs. So, in-line with the advice of Tom Campbell, we must remain open-minded about everything as well as skeptical about everything... and live gracefully with uncertainty along the way. 

Short Lived

Consciousness Exploration Journal

4/1/12

Woke up in sleep paralysis. Typical noises and sensations were present. Eventually, I floated up into darkness and began spinning (not by choice). I tried to “see” the setting around me. I could only briefly make out what looked liked two purple eyes watching me as I spun around in the darkness. After some time, I ended up back in sleep paralysis. I was laying in bed somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. I could “see” a strange version of my bedroom. The oval mirror in the corner looked like the head of person. I said inquisitively (in my mind), “who is that?” Eventually, I opened my eyes and realized that it was the mirror. 

4/7/12

Woke up at 6:30 and went back to bed at 7:10. I set my intent to have an OBE. Some time later, I found myself standing on a freeway. My awareness shifted back to my bedroom and I began floating up above my bed. Around me, I could see a foggy vision of the bedroom. I celebrated briefly and stated, “grassy field now!”. My intent was to move to a location that I had previously created in my mind. Unfortunately, the experience ended before anything else happened.

Scholarly Kitten

Consciousness Exploration Journal

3/29/2012

I had woken up to around 2am to let our dog out. As I was falling back to sleep, I set my intent to project. 

I was in the middle of a dream that had been going on for a while. It was nighttime and I was in a large tent with two open sides. Beyond the two covered sides of the tent was a thick, dark forest. Beyond the two open sides of the tent were various large structures that resembled something along the lines of Greek or Roman architecture. I had the thought that the woods would be a challenging place to venture into and that the closed sides of the tent were protecting me from making that choice. I considered venturing into the woods anyway to create a potential learning opportunity, but decided against it. Instead, I walked out toward one of the buildings. As I did, a large elk jumped out of a bush and darted away. Shortly after, as I was recovering from being startled by the elk, an orange cat ran into the scene. He was panicked, crouching low to the ground, and with ears laid back. Then two more orange cats arrived in the same state. Then three black/gray cats arrived. The bizarreness of the the scene caused me to become fully lucid. Immediately I had the sensation of what I would call a pre-OBE state. I became partly aware of my body laying in the bed while still taking in the cat scene. I tried to relax into the state shift. As I did, I began floating into a horizontal position and then slowly down to the ground near the cats. The cats seemed to be watching me. I was a bit nervous (unnecessarily so) that the cats might attack me. I let go of that fear and continued to let the state change lead the way. I began to zoom through thick darkness.  I could hear the air whipping by my ears. It was very exciting. I repeated to myself, “Be fearless. Be fearless. Be fearless.” Suddenly, something banged into my knee. It jolted me from the experience and I found myself back in my bed. My wife was rolling over next me. I’m not sure if I actually bumped into something in the experience or if my wife kicked my knee in bed. Either way, it startled me and ended the journey. 

Later in the night during another dream, I was outside getting something from my truck. It was raining, and I was rushing to get back inside. As I approached the door to my studio, I saw a small gray/black cat soaked with rain. I opened the door and encouraged him to come inside the studio with me. He hesitated, but eventually came it. I picked him up and started drying him off with a towel. As I did, he began biting my finger. I felt slight pain, but knew that it would stop hurting if I ignored it - so I did. Still holding the cat, I walked over to a mirror. I was slightly lucid up to this point, but the crystal clear reflection caused me to snap into full awareness. I was amazed at how crisp and clear the reflection was. I had the thought that I could cause the reflection to morph if I wanted. Instantly my face began to shift and change throughout various caricature-like versions. Now in a playful mood, I looked at the cat and asked him to talk. He turned his head like a defiant child and said, “no!” Then, as if reconsidering, he looked at me in the mirror and said, “well, I could recite some poetry if you like.” I got the sense that he was willing to play along and have some fun. On the desk next to us was a small book of poetry. I grabbed it and began searching the pages for something fitting to have the cat read. As I was trying to make out the words on the pages, I had the sense that there was a message for me in the words. I “read” (more like heard) a few lines of a poem. I heard it clearly and found it to be very profound and useful. It was complex though and took some effort to understand. All I can recall is that the first line had something to do with keeping life simple. I tried to decipher more of the message, but the experience faded. In hindsight, I should have repeated it back several times which has helped with recall in the past. 

Rocky Mountain Flying

Consciousness Exploration Journal

2/20/12

I woke up in sleep paralysis. The sensations were mild, but I did hear some distant voices and felt slight vibrations. I didn’t pay much attention to any of it and just waited. I had the clear sensation of detaching from my body and floating upward. Having experienced this many times before, I just relaxed and waited. I began to get the usual disorienting sensations of spinning and rolling in the air. Though it was completely dark, I began to get the sense that I was floating toward the ceiling of some very large room. I had the thought that I could project something on the wall if I wanted. I realized that seeing the stars of the night’s sky would be a nice general technique to maintain the floating sensation. I intuitively knew at this point that I had control and could go about my way exploring. This is interesting because there is a clear and distinct difference in the way that the experience feels when this feeling of control occurs. Things begin to feel very natural and very vivid. Any fear or anxious anticipation fades. The best way to describe it is that I feel as though I am a more functional, aware, open, and able version of me (as if some of the limitations are not present). Another way to describe it is that I feel fresh and new like a bubbly and curious child. 

Having good control, I began to fly across the room. I could now see a set of giant doors that led outside. As I flew toward them with the intent to go beyond them, one of them opened for me. It is difficult to say if I willed it to open or if I simply knew it would open. Outside, the scenery was extremely crisp, vivid, and full of life. The surroundings reminded me of the various old mining towns in Colorado. There was a road in front of me. Cars leisurely traveled by in both directions. I had the notion that I could go right or left, but that either choice would lead to a different experience. I chose left and flew down the road passing over the various cars underneath. I set my intent to talk to the lady from the kitchen conversation. I began scanning the various drivers and pedestrians to see if anybody looked familiar. No luck. I waited for some sign or hint of where to go. A green car pulled off the road below me. I intuitively decided to pass it by. Perhaps a missed opportunity, but it seemed suspicious somehow. I continued flying down the road. It began to zig zag through the mountains and into a small town. I analyzed the various trees and buildings and became quite giddy at just how amazingly real it all felt. I had the sense that my giddiness could spiral out of control, so I gathered myself and continued on into the town. I came to what looked like a diner of sorts. It was very busy and was apparently the hang out for the locals. I flew lower to land on the street. One man noticed me and seemed to be very surprised to see somebody flying through the air. Nobody else at the diner seemed to notice or care. At this point, I had a light sensation that some small being or person was tagging along with me. Almost like a small child or dog. I caught myself saying things to this little presence out loud so that it knew what the plan was. I did not see anybody familiar at the diner so I decided to go into the neighboring building to look around. I eventually found a room that, for whatever reason, seemed like the place that I was suppose to wait. The room was laid out like a children’s waiting room - with a few small chairs and some toys and books. I began to sit down and wait, but realized that the chairs were far too small for me. Eventually I shrunk down... or in some other way fit into a chair. The moment that I set back and relaxed, the experience began to fade. Eventually I opened my eyes and grabbed my journal. 

Considering past experiences, it seems that when I stop fully engaging the experience, it fades. This would explain the various techniques that I have read about to maintain lucid dreams and out-of-body experiences such as rubbing your hands together or spinning. It may simply be a matter of maintaining one’s focus on events and elements within the experience. So, similar to drifting off into a daydream in waking life and essentially becoming unaware of the world around us, loosing focus (such as relaxing in a chair) in these other experiences might cause the reality of the experience to fade.